I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
