I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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