I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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