A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
