I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
