I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
