The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
