Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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