Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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