So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
