you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
