I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
