I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
