Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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