They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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