oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
