I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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