he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
