I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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