I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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