dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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