I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
