ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
