she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
