i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we made out on top of his cat.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
