What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
