If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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