If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
