And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
