How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
