i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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