i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
