So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
