What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
