i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
