he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize