Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
