i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
