Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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