I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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