i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
