The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
