just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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