She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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