i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
