One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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