You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
