You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
