I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
