There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
