Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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