hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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