I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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