cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
