I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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