He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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