I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
