was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
