He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
