Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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