Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize