I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
