When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
