i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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