I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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