Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
