someone get that fucking seahorse.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
