Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
