im drinking this country out of the recession.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
