She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
