no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Panties = found
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