i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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